"... that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
This is also the day that my hives are currently in remission. I am almost scared to say that out loud. After 1 1/2 years of hives and only one other period of remission of only a week, I am cautiously saying this. I am, however, gratefully saying this and praising God while saying this!
Well, last I left you, I had a spot on my brain and had just had a spinal tap. Well, the results of the spinal tap were negative, but they still don't know what the spot is in my brain. Comforting, right? The spot is in the center of my brain in the corpus callosum and apparently that is pretty rare, but when have I ever been normal? I had the specialists scrambling for a while. They were scratching their heads and consulting other specialists throughout the country. One doctor said, "Are you sure you are ok? I mean, I just told you that you definitely have a spot on your brain and that it has grown and that we have no clue as to what it is and you seem to be taking this quite well." My response: "Oh, I'm used to it, and I know God has it all under control." And He did. He does. The doctors, they consulted. They tested. They conferenced. They passed it off to other doctors. But that is fine. Here is what we learned. There is a spot in the center of my brain that has doubled in size since 2007. It is not Multiple Sclerosis. It is not actively growing cancer. It is currently dormant. Follow up MRI in 6 months.
So, my life the past year. Lump in breast, 90% chance of cancer. Lump removed. No cancer. Mass found in liver. Liver biopsy. No cancer. Spot found in brain. No MS. No cancer. Hives all over for 1 1/2 years. 1 trip to Mayo Clinic. Daily migraines. 16 current medications. Emotional status: wobbly. Physical status: getting better. Spiritual status: God has carried me through it all and I am closer to Him that ever before. Praise God for allowing me to go through all this if for no other reason than to be closer to Him! This is my testimony!!!
Now, all that said, I have to tell you what happened to me. It has to be one of the greatest things to ever happen to me in my entire life. Now, I have heard people say, "God spoke to me." Well, I have to admit, I never really fully understood this. I am being completely honest here. I am a believer that God can speak to your heart. I have heard that still quiet voice before, but a few weeks ago, man, God SPOKE to me! I mean SPOKE to me. I have always wanted to help somehow with mission work, but never knew how I could help. I am a stay-at-home mom and a sick one at that, with a husband that is working all the time. How could I help? How could I pack up and head to a foreign country, as appealing as that sounds sometimes.
Well, I was sitting in evening service and I heard God speak to me, telling me my place was in prison ministry. My response? Uh uh. Shoot. He must be talking to someone else. Uh, nope. He made it clear. In my head and in my heart like never before. Prison ministry. Prison ministry?! Nah. Yep. But... No, buts. Prison ministry. Wow. But I'm not equipped. I'm not knowledgeable enough. But God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. So, I sent my preacher an email to ask him if there was a prison ministry that our church participates in, and sure enough, there was, and guess what? The lady that is over the women's prison ministry had just, that same day, told our preacher that she needed help. Yep, God SPOKE to me that day. Now, I haven't been to the prison yet. I am getting prepared. There is a part of me that keeps wanting to get scared, but then God jumps up and assures me that He has prepared me my whole life for this. He gave me my testimony, now it's time to use it!
Our preacher asked one day, what if you made one positive Christian change that you stuck with the entire year? What would your year look like? Have you taken the time out of your busy life to have quiet time with God so He can speak to you and give you direction? Sometimes we are so caught up in the craziness of life and trying to figure out what we want that we forget to just stop. and listen. and pray. and listen. and God will give us the guidance and direction we so desperately desire. And sometimes, we don't even realize we need it. We think our lives are absolutely perfect just the way they are. Then something happens to shake things up a bit and we find ourselves hitting our knees in prayer like never before.
Now, here lately, I have heard a lot of people turning away from churches or saying "I'm not going to that church. They are a bunch of hypocrites." or "I just don't like their song service, so I'm changing churches," etc, etc, etc. Well, people, no church is perfect, and it is when you put your faith in man that you will be disappointed EVERY time. Put your faith in God, not man. Let God lead you to a place you can worship with people who believe like you so you have a church body to lean on and rely on. I do feel having a church is an integral part of a close walk with God, however not the only part. For me, it helps me stay close to God to hear God's word spoken and studied. It helps me to kneel at the alter. A church is a place for sinners, not saints. But as a wise man once said, "I'd rather go to Heaven with a bunch of hypocrites, than to hell with everyone else."
But I digress. My whole point was to see if I could get someone else to help me with a New Year's resolution. It has nothing to do with losing weight. My resolution is to take more time for those quiet moments with God. To listen to Him more. To go where He leads me and to witness to those He puts in my path. Sounds scary, I know, but God is bigger than scary, and with Him at the lead, we can do this. I know there are a lot of you who already do this and have done this for a while. I would love to hear feedback from all of you! If we make this one little change, imagine how our year will look?!
"This is the day that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
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