"...that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
It's been a while since I last blogged and there is a reason for that. I'll get to that later. However, since you are a willing bystander, watching my crazy roller coaster of late, I'll start you off with the good news.
First, my baby girl graduated from Pre-K! To say I was a proud momma was an understatement. During graduation, my baby girl walked proudly to the microphone and recited the entire Lord's Prayer from memory! Ok, I'll stop now, but it was awesome! Next, came my husband's baptism. As my daughter put it, "I've been waiting for this, Daddy. It's the best day eveah!" And that it was! This was the first time since surgery that I held my son and we stood proudly behind the bapistry as my husband was baptized on our seven year wedding anniversary. My son was crying and saying "bath" because he wanted to take a "bath" with Daddy and my daughter just wanted to know how many times the preacher was going to "dunk daddy." It was perfect! To say I was a proud wife was an understatement! Praise God for answered prayers! Next, came our seven year anniversary, then Molly's birthday and then the My Little Pony birthday party, complete with a jumpy thing in our backyard. These days have been full of blessings and memories and I thank God every chance I get.
Ok, If that's all you wanted to see of the happy part of this roller coaster ride of mine, you can stop reading now.
In my last blog, I talked about a pancreas scan. I had that done and the nurse called me about another issue and I asked her about the results of the pancreas scan. She said it showed hepatic steatosis. Hepatic steatosis means "fatty" and usually refers to the liver. I assumed since she was discussing my pancreas scan that that meant I had hepatic steatosis of the pancreas. 1) I totally resent the label of "fatty." I flashback to when I was younger and my brother would say "fatty, fatty two by four, can't fit through the bathroom door." I much prefer the label of juvenile. 2) Pancreatic hepatic steatosis is not common and usually means other organs are following suit. 3)Really?!
Finally get the radiologist report a few days later and it says pancreas looks fine and possible hepatic steatosis of liver. Big difference! However, the same report also said my gallbladder looked completely normal with no stones seen. That would be great, except I don't have a gallbladder! So, just as you would have, I took the entire report with a grain of salt. Now, I was completely comfortable in telling myself there was nothing "fatty" about my organs, only juvenile.
My internal doc set up ultrasound of my abdomen and kidneys to see if he could find the reason for my continued high blood pressure. This was last Wednesday, the day my daughter turned 5. I had to leave before she woke up to get tests done, just to come back home and pick up my son and take him to his doctor's appointment. Thank the good Lord for my parents. My dad took my daughter on a "date" to the boardwalk and spoiled her rotten for me. Thanks, dad.
Anyway, I have learned to read ultrasound techs. I can tell when they see something abnormal and when everything looks routine and normal to them. I was watching my tech's face while he was doing the abdominal ultrasound and all was fine for a while. Then he stopped. Then he stayed in one area for a while. Then, and this completely shocked me, he said he found something on my liver and he would show me in just a minute. After I got past the shock of the tech actually talking to me and telling me something, I thought, oh great, he's gonna call my liver "fatty" and I'm gonna get offended all over again.
After a few more minutes, he turned the screen around and pointed out a mass on my liver. A little over 2 cm solid mass on my liver. He said he would get it to the radiologist immediately and my doctor should have the report by that afternoon.
I didn't want to tell everybody, which is why I haven't blogged before now. I'm like the boy who cried wolf, except I'm the girl who cried cancer. twice. in one month. Sheesh. I have to tell someone, so I call a friend of mine and after I tell her and laugh at the craziness of it all, she says, "Well, you seem to be taking it well." Well, I thought, God has brought me this far, and he's not letting go now. After I get home and do some research, I realize that almost all liver masses are benign. This is great news, so hopefully not another cancer scare. However, it seems all types of benign liver masses usually need to be removed, except one. I pray and pray that that is the type of mass mine will be. I really, really, don't want another surgery.
After waiting around most of the next morning to hear from my doctor, I finally call just for them to tell me he is on vacation and won't be back until next week. I leave a message for the nurse. She calls me back and says the radiologist said the mass on my liver is probably a hemangioma and my doctor will be calling me next week to set up more tests just to make sure. Hemangioma! Whew! More answered prayers, folks! Hemangioma is the only type of solid liver mass that usually doesn't have to be removed! Praise to God Almighty!
So, today is the day before I hear from my doctor as to what the next step will be in this roller coaster journey. Today is the day I am still counting my blessings. Today is the day I am officially tired of the tests. I just don't want any more bad news. However, it is almost one year since I began having hives. Every day (except for two weeks) I wake up to hives. Today, they were a little worse. Today, I wasn't able to fully enjoy our family outing to Cypress Black Bayou because of the hives. Today, I realize I must keep pushing. I must keep testing. Today, I have to have faith that God is leading the doctors to the answer. Today, I know my roller coaster ride isn't over yet, but I know who is at the controls.
"This is the day that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
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